Forgiveness and the Pursuit of Happiness

Been gone for a minute now I'm back with the jumpoff....yea...whatever.

Check it: I find transitions in life absolutely astounding. Relationships, career, family, etc etc etc. How can something start out so beautiful and end so suddenly in a blink of an eye? I don't get it. I recently ended a relationship with a person I thought was my soulmate. I honestly thought that he and I were going to be married for forever and a day and live in total bliss. We were, in fact, living that image for exactly a year. As soon as the "one year and a day" mark hit...it was over. Not really sure what happened there. I have people from all over the place coming up to me inquiring the dumbest things. "WHAT HAPPENED???" Isn't it obvious? We broke up. That's what happened. "But..I just saw you two together two days ago!" While I do understand the public's "concern" for a couple who was seemingly the epitome of black love, I would think that it should occur to some that perhaps the "event" of it all is so shocking for a reason. Of course there is a period where you have to get him/her out of your system so that you can get to the "just friends" level. But it is, in fact, possible for two people to break up and be friends. "Why do you seem so happy? Shouldn't you be sad?" What for? If I wanted to be sad, I'd still be in the situation I just removed myself from. DUH! "Aren't you pissed at him?" Um...no. Why have animosity? There's no need. We're not in middle school here, you know.

Yes, he did some things that hurt me. Quite a few in succession, actually. He knows what he did and I would like to believe that he understands that it was him that ultimately caused the end of our relationship. But he didn't break my heart. And for that, I must give him his credit. All in all he's a good guy and I forgive him for the things he did. I'm woman enough to have gotten to that level. The funny thing about all this is that a song released in '94 by and artist named Gabrielle called "Dreams" got me here. But the song has absolutely nothing to do with breaking up and forgiving someone. It's actually about finally finding the person you've dreamed of for so long. This is the verse that got to me:

Do you hear what I'm saying, gotta say how i feel
I can't believe you're here, but I know that you're real
I know what I want, and baby it's you
Can't deny my feelings because they are true

As you can see...the song has no relation at all to this situation. LOL. So, I really don't know how it helped me...I just know that it did. Perhaps I took it as I would rather have him as my friend than to waste the energy being mad at him. Those are my feelings and they are very much true. Can't deny them so I might as well let it be known. Thanks, Gabrielle!

If ever you've harbored anger and pain at someone, it is such a gift to yourself to be able to release it and simply forgive. That doesn't mean you forget it, because if you forget, you will undoubtly allow it to happen again. It's perfectly okay to refuse such treatment, but just getting that monkey off my back honestly brings tears to my eyes. It takes so much more energy to be angry and spiteful toward someone than it takes to forgive and let God handle the situation. As Mandisa from American Idol said to Simon Cowell: "You don't have to hear someone say they're sorry to forgive them." Such a powerful statement.

I find it disgusting that the instant his male counterparts discovered I was on the market again, they busted out of the woodwork trying to claw at me. He's probably got the same thing going on with his "groupies" as I call them. I mean, honestly....can I get at least a month to breathe? Geez. One of his "boys" came up to me this afternoon and actually said these words to me: "Yea, I know you two didn't work out, but um...wassup with me and you?" WTF? You've got to be kidding me! That is absolutely repulsive.

We had a beautiful relationship as boyfriend/girlfriend, but what was the best thing about us was that we were genuinely BEST friends above and beyond anything else. I'm almost certain that we will continue to have a great friendship in due time. He gave me more good times than bad times. He showed me what being in love was truly all about and for all those memories, I sincerely thank him.